time to move on

Its time to move to Chicago. Well, not really until May, but I will be ready to go. I really can't stay in a place where my identity is tied up with my failure. I love my med school friends, but it reminds me constantly that I can't have the life that they complain about. I would give anything to be passing the courses they complain about not honoring. I need a fresh start, somewhere where people will stop asking me why I'm not finishing med school. Its getting too hard.

At the same time, I worry about moving somewhere where I have no friends and where the weather is likely to exacerbate things. It will be good to have family support, but I worry about jobs since I don't seem to be making progress on the job front here.

I can't wait for thanksgiving vaca!

so very, very happy

I will inevitably fill this post with a bunch of trite, cheesy words attempting to explain my utter joy this morning. But there aren't enough to say that I woke up to a new feeling of optimism and confidence that the world is going to be ok. I feel like today this country is a place where I belong, where my voice is actually heard and matters. I don't know that I've ever felt so hopeful - that we might do the right thing for the poor, for the sick, for those who need help. It seems as though all things are possible now, if not easy. I am so very, very happy.

me too

So my husband gets a blog, so obviously now I need one too. I guess it will be a good way to waste some time while waiting for tutoring students that may or may not show. Hence the sewing, the knitting, the pottery.... clearly I need a real job.

I was surprised today by a sudden wave of sympathy for the half of this country (but not me!) that will be profoundly disappointed tomorrow night. Most of the time I believe so strongly that what they want for this world is wrong. Which I do believe. But for at least some of them it really isn't selfishness - they honestly have the same hopes and dreams that I do its just that they believe that those ideals come from doing the opposite of what I believe. The wave of sympathy passed due to the incoming wave of reminding myself that it isn't over yet. Hopefully I will finally be left on the other side of the fence, optimistic and energized. I need to believe that the world is going to be ok.